Happy 8 and half months to miss Lilith.

This month she has:

Started wear­ing proper clothes
Can wave
Under­stands where daddy is and where insert cats name here
Under­stands up, bye bye, snack, bath time, baby ein­stein
Can high five
Can do kisses (open mouth though yuck!)
Is start­ing to pull her­self up
Can roll both ways

We also got her first shoes this month and she has her very first tooth! Eeek!

I am offi­cially a sty at home mum, I quit my job this week and will find a new job when we move house next year — need more room! Also we have decided to try for baby num­ber 2 next August! Crazy eh? When we said we didn’t want any­more we love hav­ing lil that we want one more

I take my the­ory test again on Wednes­day next week very ner­vous, must pass my dri­ving test ASAP!

Other than that no much hap­pen­ing apart from enjoy­ing the sun­shine

Happy 7 months to my lit­tle babe, can’t believe she is already 7 months — feels like I just blinked and now she’s a lit­tle madam — full of per­son­al­ity — loud I’ve never known for a baby to be so lou

Ive just been find­ing ways to enter­tain her and get her on a sched­ule for naps and bed­time, we have the bed­time rou­tine in but she is still wak­ing in the night nor­mally twice a night.

Lately she has learnt to sit unaided, copy­ing, eat­ing solid food with bits and is able to put her dummy back in. No fur­ther on crawl­ing she’s just not inter­ested being on her tummy.

Me on the other hand still on anti ds and still suf­fer­ing from anx­i­ety, it feels never end­ing I know it will do I just need to be kind to myself. Just this is hard as every­one always comes before me, I’m try­ing to rest and have decided to take the rest of the year of with Lilith, we can afford it by drop­ping our mort­gage and help of ben­e­fits plus savings.

I’m away be next week with lil to my dads in scot­ty­land, it’s a big thing for me as I will be alone with lil on the plane I’m really scared but excited to see my dad & family.

Oh joys Lilith is in the whin­ing mood due to teething — she whines about every­thing at the moment, she’s try­ing to attack my iPad as I write this because she doesn’t think it’s fair that I can use this and she can’t.

Lilith is get­ting good at sit­ting we are so close to being able to do it on her own she can sit for 15 sec­onds with­out being distracted.

I had an anx­i­ety attack this morn­ing which took me by sur­prise as I thought I was get­ting bet­ter minus still not being able to use pub­lic trans­port, sigh, it was all over going to town with my mum in the morn­ing but morn­ings lil and I always get up at 6am to do the hus­bands pack lunch, he leaves at 7:30am and lil & I nap at 8:30/9am till 11am. The idea of not fol­low­ing this freaks me out, I think because babies need rou­tine or in my case it all breaks down, I am so strict on our rou­tine, nap times, feed­ing times and bed times.

Lucky my mum under­stands. So we are going to town in the afternoon.

I would write more but Lilith is being a grumpy mare

With par­ent­hood I spent the first two months of lils life feel­ing guilty, feel­ing guilty I couldn’t breast feed who need a hor­rific birth and PCOS causes milk issues, guilty I didn’t use cloth nap­pies, guilty I didn’t baby wear (turns out my back is messed up from the labour so good job I didn’t), guilty about hav­ing depres­sion, guilty about hav­ing anx­i­ety attacks. The list goes on and on.

What is it about par­ent­hood espe­cially moth­er­hood that makes you feel guilty for not doing it the way you thought you would? I guess com­par­ing your­self to other mums doesn’t help, I see mums doing it the way I thought I would and I get a guilt feel­ing aris­ing but now I’ve learnt to accept all babies are different.

My mid­wife gave me the best advice “what does it mat­ter what you are feed­ing her as long as she’s being fed”

I’m happy with my choices now, I’m glad I for­mula fed, didn’t change my rela­tion­ship with my daugh­ter, I’m glad I co-slept with her for the first 6 weeks didn’t change her sleep­ing now. I guess I am ruled by my 5 month old, she’s a happy lit­tle girl who is grow­ing so quickly I just need to accept in future my choices will be dif­fer­ent to oth­ers but it doesn’t make them incorrect.

Are your choices after hav­ing a baby dif­fer­ent from before you had the baby?

Okay my ram­bling done back to nap­ping — favourite past time!

Really need to change my lay­out but I am far too lazy to do so, maybe in the next month or so I am bored of see­ing this one now.

Hope every­one had a fan­tas­tic Christ­mas! We had a lovely time, Lil got loads of nice presents, and we went up to Scotty-land which was great, my dad, sis­ters, step­mum and grandma loved Lil she was on good form — slept well while we were up there which sur­prised me because I thought she would be a bug­ger, and she was good on the plane, so that boosted my con­fi­dence to go up on my own with her in April, eeek!

Other than that I have been going out once a week with my brother and his friend to enjoy the open mic night which has some really amaz­ing singers on it, I got an ipad which I love! and we brought a new sofa for our liv­ing room but have to wait up to 12 weeks for it!

Wean­ing has been going well — Lil loves her food just like her mother, ha ha! Can’t believe she is already 5 months, I have just fin­ished my next lot of CBT so am on a break for 6 weeks but car­ry­ing on with my anti ds — I feel like I am get­ting bet­ter each day but it is a slow progress and I knew this when I started on them.

I’d bet­ter go babe is up and I want to see if I can get my word­press linked to my ipad